Like most mamas’ on this planet, I am a fierce, protective mother bear who will do whatever it takes, no matter how old my babies are, to provide them with the knowing that I am a hand up and will do whatever it takes to have them thrive in this crazy world and have the tools they need to come through life’s tragedies and most difficult challenges. Have I at times enabled them out of fear? Yes, absolutely! Have I been a leader for higher consciousness, set strong boundaries, become a change agent, voice and role model for change? Significantly more than the later, HELL YES! I am proud of who I am and have come a long, long way through the lessons life has blessed me with. I know when you read blessed, especially knowing my story, you might think, WHAT?
I was a mom graced with three beautiful children. All empaths! Sensitive, intuitive, creative and eventually out of the box thinkers who were born to become agents for change themselves. My middle boy Ben, struggled the most and we all struggled, seemingly, in relation to him. He was a profound teacher for me and is now a beautiful angel guiding us. He has been since the death of his body, and will continue to be, a change agent from the other side of the veil. A consistent light guiding what has become a force through him. I am eternally grateful to him. www.benspeaks.org
When Ben ended his life after a long battle with the stigma of mental illness which masked his incredible gifts and talents and put the focus on his brokenness, fed him drugs to manage his inability to fit the mainstream box, he gave up and saw no point to stay here. He was only eighteen years old. His siblings Michael & Jenna where only 21 and 16 when this immense life event become the foundation of their lives.
Today, eleven years later, I couldn’t be more proud of myself and my children. All three of them! Mike & Jenna went deeply in to our societal norm of covering up their pain with all the wrong things. Leading to addiction and deep unhappiness. I have consistently been there with a loving, guiding hand, a growing community of support and mentors, being a role model for healthy living and choices, never giving up on their potential and gifts that for many years laid dormant. They have both come out the other side clean, sober and turning their lives toward the light. My heart is full and I am excited for the days ahead.
For some, I know, this pandemic has been earth shattering. For me and my kids it has been a opportunity to step back, reflect, reset, heal from the wounds of the past and let go of what is no longer serving us. We are warriors of light, we three. Here to lead by example what is possible as we release our karmic ties, step out of the past and create a new future for ourselves and others.
Thank you Michael and Jenna, for being on this journey with me and walking hand in hand with me to BE THE CHANGE we all want to see in this world. You are my greatest blessings!